


Where the Loons Nest

by FreckledAuthor



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Attempted Murder, Cheating, Depression, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Drama, Drama & Romance, Eating Disorders, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Forbidden Love, Gay, Gay Character, Gay Male Character, Jealousy, LGBTQ Character, Love, Mental Health Issues, Mental Institutions, Money, Multi, Murder, Muteness, Mystery, Non-Graphic Violence, Panic Attacks, Relationship(s), Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Thriller, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-02-25 04:48:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21830257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreckledAuthor/pseuds/FreckledAuthor
Summary: No memory, no home, no family, no friends. Waking up in a strange mental facility was not Ryan Jameson's favorite thing. Finding out your parents died and you have a hand full mental disorders isn't at the top of the list either. Everything seems normal at the clinic; itchy clothing, okish food, people losing their minds, but why does Ryan keep bumping into the same mysterious woman? Why is there a murderer on the third level? Why did the kid who's never said a word in his life save him from jumping? Most importantly... who killed his parents?
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Male Character, Original Male Character/Original Male Character
Kudos: 4





	1. Stranger Danger

**Author's Note:**

> WARNINGS: contains mental illnesses such as: Depression, Anxiety, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Selective Mutism, Antisocial Personality Disorder, Avoidant Food Intake Disorder, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. What is written is not an accurate representations of the disorders shown above nor what its like in a mental clinic. Its purely for entertainment. Other sensitive topics may include: mentions of self harm, suicidal thoughts/suicide attempt, non-graphic violence, talk of murder/murder attempt, and cheating/toxic relationship. This is not meant to offend anyone who has been in or is in a mental institution or to anyone suffering from mental illnesses, they're serious matters and should not be made fun of or glorified.
> 
> Thanks for reading and enjoy!

He gasped as cold air filled his lungs and he jolted upright. He panted sluggishly as cold sweat dribbled down his forehead. The boy quickly spun his head around taking in his unusual surroundings. He sat on an uncomfortably stiff bed lacking a headboard, there was nothing else in the room other than a small bathroom in the corner containing nothing but a toilet and a small mirror. He cautiously stood up moving the thin white quilt from his legs, still wobbly from whatever he'd woken up from. The freezing tile floor was like icicles shooting up his legs and into his bones. He shivered and hugged himself tightly. He stumbled into the bathroom where the first thing he noticed was the mirror's jagged edges covered by cushy foam stoppers. 

The second thing he noticed was his reflection. His jaw dropped. He's never seen this stranger in his life, it's like he was looking at someone else entirely. He staggered closer to the mirror and squinted his eyes to see better. Dark brown almost black hair slicked perfectly to the side, golden honey-colored skin, and icy blue eyes. He was tall with broad shoulders and muscular arms. Oh no, he wasn't complaining about what he saw in the mirror, in fact, the person before him was quite beautiful. However, that wasn't him in the mirror, no way, he looked like… like. He racked his mind through all his memories and found nothing. What's my name? He thought, is that really me in the mirror? Who am I? Where am I? What's happening!? 

He started to feel a familiar feeling in his chest, of course, he couldn't remember from where or what it meant, but at least it was something. His heart started beating faster and his hands started to shake. "W-What's happening?" He cried out, as he slowly sunk down to his knees. Someone walked quickly into his room, their footsteps hurried and alert. "Ryan Jameson?" A concerned voice echoed from behind him. He looked up and over at a pretty young woman holding a clipboard. Her hair was up in two messy buns, along with a frilly pink top and fuzzy brown jean pants. "I-I don't know who I am…" he stuttered, he ran his hands through his hair rapidly. 

"My name is Doctor Peterson, but you can call me Dove. We have some things to discuss. I guarantee you I'll try my very best to explain things to you" Dove spoke warmly, she gave a soft smile and helped him from the ground. She leads him over to his bed and sat him on it. The woman dragged a metal folding chair across the floor, its legs screeched eerily across the tile closer to him. The noise made him twitch. "I know this must be stressful for you," she sat leaning forward slightly "but, I'm going to help," she said gently, Dove leaned back, crossed her legs, and flipped her glasses onto her face. "So, your name is Ryan Jameson and your 17 years old. You were diagnosed with Generalized anxiety disorder and a high level of depression when you were 12 by doctor Landon Harrison," Ryan put his hand to his heart. So that's what he was feeling earlier? A panic attack? "You were taken back to the doctor a few years later after violent outbursts and strange behavior. You referred to this character as 'Ryland' and spoke of him in fear. You were then diagnosed with Dissociative identity disorder, again, by doctor Landon Harrison" Ryan tilts his head "what's that?" He asked curiously. 

"Well, it's a very complex disorder but I can try my best to simplify it. It means that you have two personalities, one is how you are normally, like right now. The other is what you refer to as 'Ryland'. When you switch all of your more negative personality traits become heightened. You've been documented to have; short temper, violent, rude, aggressive, intimidating, and overly sensual tendencies when you switch to Ryland" Dove explained, writing notes down on her clipboard. Ryan nodded, he was so confused about everything. He couldn't remember his family, his friends, his home. His mind was completely wiped clean. He sighed and rubbed his temples looking down at his feet trying not to cry. "Do you have any other questions, Mr. Jameson?" She asked, slipping her pen behind her ear. He opened his mouth to say no but quickly changed his mind. 

"Yes actually" Dove tilted her head and smiled gently, "of course," he took in a deep breath. "Where am I and why am I here? Where are my parents? What happened?" He spoke quickly and breathlessly, he felt uneasy as he readjusted his sitting position. Although, nothing felt comfortable on the rigid mattress. Dove swallowed and cleared her throat "um, well," she spoke wearily "you're at Brenna Mallard's psychiatric hospital and you're here because there was a hardship with both you and your parents" Ryan's jaw dropped, he was at a psychiatric hospital? "What? You mean like a mental asylum? For insane people?! I'm not crazy!" His voice wavered, he sat up straighter and puffed his chest out. He became defensive of himself, whoever himself was. 

Dove inched backward and brought her hand to her chest. She wore a necklace, but instead of some cheesy heart or "love" charm made up of fake gems, it was like a portable remote control. It only had one round red button right in the center. She kept one hand on the remote and gave a disappointed glare to Ryan. "Excuse me, Mr. Jameson, but I am only here to help. In fact, I am your therapist for however long they choose to keep you in this facility. I like being relaxed with my patients and even joke around with them, however, if you show signs of aggression towards me I'll be forced to have you tied down" She spoke with authority, although it sounded more like she was scolding a child. 

Ryan took a deep breath and relaxed back in his seat. Dr. Perterson gave Ryan a pitiful gaze and sighed. "I'm sorry you're having to hear this Mr. Jameson… but your parents, they're dead. That's part of the reason why you're here. You were at someone's house, we're not sure whose. All we know is that you were with someone, presumably a friend, they called 911 when you switched and started being violent with them. They fled the scene before we got there and we couldn't track them down. When we finally restrained you and went to return you to your parents we found them dead on the floor. We don't know what happened and we don't know why you have amnesia. When you switch back and forth between your personalities, you seem to have little blackout spells. You don't pass out, but what you do is get completely blank-faced, spacey, and you don't respond. So when you were switching back to normal this time you completely passed out, we then brought you back here, you woke up and here we are." Dove explained. 

Ryan took a few shaky breaths before erupting into tears. He covered his face with his hands as he sobbed. Sure, he couldn't remember his parents, but he could remember how important parents are. He thought about the two people he loved the most in the world having died. He could feel physical pain pulsing through his body trying to jerk him to the ground. His mind began working, producing thoughts and emotions. 

Maybe I should just kill myself, he thought, clearly, if anyone really loved me they would be with me right now. He sat up taking his hands off his face. Ryan choked back another sob and tried to steady his coarse breathing. "C-Can I please g-go home?..." He pleaded, his voice cracked and wavered. Each word was a step closer to letting out another wail he so desperately tried to keep back. She sighed and shook her head "I'm sorry I can't allow that. You're a minor and so far we haven't found any relatives. So, you'll have to stay with us for now" Ryan sighed and hugged himself. Dove stood up and dragged her chair to the corner of the room. She expertly flung her glasses atop her head and held the clipboard tightly to her side. "There is a change of clothes at the end of your bed. Lunch starts in five minutes if you're late you don't eat, sorry about that" she sighed and left the room latching the door behind her. 

Ryan looked down and felt the tips of his ears heat up with embarrassment. He'd been wearing a hospital gown the whole time. He changed in the clothes left for him. A soft pastel red sweater that was a size too small, jeans held together with a few strips of velcro, and canvas slip-on shoes. Not too bad for a madhouse, he supposed. 

He groaned and looked towards his bed wanting to flop on it. However, his stomach decided otherwise. Ryan had no idea when the last time he ate was. He could've been asleep for years like one of those drama movies. He held his breath and cautiously grabbed the doorknob like he expected it to electrocute him. He opened the door to the world of screwballs, misfits, and murders, and hoped he would make it out alive...


	2. OCD Darling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan meets a girl in the lunchroom, maybe she could make a good friend?

Ryan stepped out into the clean white halls. Doors leading into other patients' rooms littered the walls. He looked either direction unsure of where he was supposed to go. The halls seemed endless and repeating. He heard footsteps coming towards him and he looked up to see a nurse. "Excuse me?" He asked, the woman smiled but when she glimpsed closer at him it vanished. She tinkered with the chain on her necklace, and he quickly realized it was home to yet another remote. "Yes?" She answered, her voice sounding a bit strained, "do you know where I can find the cafeteria?" He requested, suddenly feeling self-conscious. "Yes, if you continue down to your left you will see an elevator. You are currently on level one, so push the button that says 'lobby', this place used to be an old hotel. It will take you down to the social/activity space. From there you should be able to see the sign for the cafeteria" she explained, pointing down the hall. He smiled, "thank you" she nodded silently and quickly walked away in the other direction. 

That was weird, he thought. He promptly shook it off and walked down the hall. He strolled in the elevator and curiously looked at the keypad. Everything seemed to be ordinary, except of course the top two buttons. The fourth button marked as 'level 3' required an orange card to go up to. The fifth button marked as 'roof' required a red card to go to. Next to the two controls looked like a card swipe. Supposedly for the orange and red cards. He pushed the switch marked as 'lobby' and went to the lion's den.

He walked out and everything actually seemed quite nice. There were people of all ages socializing, some of the younger kids, no older than 9, were kept watch of by the nurses. There were coloring books and crayons all over the place as well as plush toys. He looked over to an entryway with the word 'Cafeteria' printed above the door frame. The first thing he noticed once walking in was the strong aroma of delicious soup. He walks up to the serving table and was greeted by a lively server man. "Good afternoon amigo, can I get you some of my famous Fabada Asturiana stew?" He brought over a styrofoam bowl filled with a warm stew and a plastic fork. Ryan smiled and nodded "thank you" he put the bowl on his trey and grabbed a plastic cup of water. 

Ryan examined the tables and more importantly the people hunched over them. There were a few scattered pairs and groups throughout the room, but mostly everyone remained alone. He sat at an almost empty table with only one other person. A girl sitting at the other end of the table looked up and scooted over across from him. 

She had big brown eyes and her face was fairly immature. A stretchy headband held back her wild black curls, and velcroed overalls covered her lovely dark skin. "I've never seen you before. Are you new?" She asked, rearranging her Cheetos by their size. "Um, yes, why?" He watched her precise movements when rearranging the chips, and how she kept wiping her fingers on a napkin after she touched one. "I know everyone here" she replied, Ryan raised an eyebrow, "you've talked to everybody?" He speculated. She laughed a bit and began straightening them out "oh no. That is a lot of human interaction I'm not prepared for. All I do is watch a different person each day. It's astonishing how much you can find out about a person if you just pay attention. How they carry themselves, if they have friends or if they're a loner, where they place themselves in the room. Of course, it also helps if you have connections to the staff" she clicked her tongue and nodded towards the man who'd served him. "That's Andrés" she added, "that's actually pretty cool" Ryan admitted. She nodded then perked up tugging her eyes away from her food and met Ryans "I'm Camron Ashwood by the way, and who might you be?" She asked, making eye contact so aggressive it made Ryan uncomfortable. "Ryan Jameson I guess" he shrugged and sipped some water from his cup, "well Ryan Jameson, I can tell you're curious about some things around here, and I just happen to know everything there is to know. So, ask away" she threw her food into the trash and sat back across from Ryan. 

"Um, well, what're those remote things the nurses wear around their necks?" Camron clicked her tongue again "well that's an easy one. They wear them in case of an emergency. They say it's in case something goes wrong with a patient, but I think we all know it's if a client attacks them. Security is alerted of the location so they can go rescue the nurse" she rolled her eyes "like that would ever happen" Ryan nodded and looked around. "What about the elevator? What's up with the roof and level 3? Why do they need access cards?" Cameron smirked "now that's a fun question," she said, sounding almost relieved to explain something more entertaining. "So there are 5 levels to this place. Right now you're in the lobby. This is the core of the asylum, ya know, food, games, socialization, phone time, visiting room. Level 1 is the first tier of rooms. They're the least dangerous, usually home to the depressed and anxious. The rooms have a normal layout with no locks. Level 2 is slightly more dangerous people. They have identical room layouts to level 1 but with locks on the outside. Then, there's level 3. Bleached, padded, white, walls, straight jackets, blindfolds, the full effect of an insane asylum. I've heard that's where they keep legit murderers" her eyes sparkled wide with a mixture of fear and fascination. 

Ryan nodded and smiled a bit "why're you here?" He asked, she scrunched up her face "Obsessive-compulsive disorder or better known as OCD" she spits the words out like they tasted rotten in her mouth. "That's the cleaning disorder thing right?" He asked, her eyebrows shot up and she became frantic "no!" She cleared her throat and took a breath, "excuse me, I become quite crude when people give out wrong information. No, I'm sure some people with OCD have that, but not me. I need everything to be straight and in order, I also count a lot. For example, I know we have said the word 'the' 22 times throughout our conversation, 26 if you count the 'the' I said as an example and the three I used forming this sentence" she said sighing, "that seems kinda cool" Ryan gave her a sideways smile trying to make her feel better. 

"Not when you don't want to do those things, not when you don't want to count how many times you've blinked, not when you get freaked out for no reason because you think someone is listening to your thoughts" she sighed once again dragging her words, "I'm sorry" he mumbled. She shook her head, "it's fine. Let's move on to something else" she suggested. Ryan nodded and thought for a moment, "hm, tell me about the people in this room," he smiled. Cameron perked up and began telling him about the different people.

They laughed as she told embarrassing stories about everyone. How one girl tripped and spilled chocolate milk all over herself, and how a boy accidentally flung a grape across the room and smacked an older gentleman right in the middle of his forehead. Ryan giggled, and through his squinted eyes caught a flash of movement in the corner. He flinched and whipped his head towards the direction of the movement. There he saw a boy. 

From the shoulders down he looked like a stereotypical 'bad boy type', Ryan had to restrain himself from rolling his eyes. Black pants, black shoes, grey t-shirt, and some fuzzy, navy hoodie that was slightly too big for his slim frame. His pale skin contrasted greatly with the gloomy colors. However, from his shoulders up is what made Ryan extremely confused. He had a small face with dark brown eyes and freckles everywhere. His pastel mint hair reached his eyebrows and he barely stood 5'3. He wasn't paying any attention and instead leaned against the wall with his eyes closed, judging by the earbuds in his ears, most likely listening to music.

"That would be Jay Kingston" Cameron pointed out, Ryan snorted "Mr. Bad-Boy-With-A-Sensitive-Side much?" He said rolling his eyes, Cameron giggled. "I wouldn't say that," she replied "he's afraid of his own shadow. The only reason everyone is scared of him is that his dad owns the asylum. He has access to all of our records, which means he can also rewrite them" Cameron explained. “Is he just here because his dad owns this place?" Ryan speculated. 

She shook her head, "I believe he's mute. He has never talked to anybody, not even when his father visits. Plus, I've observed him using a few basic words in sign language such as 'thanks' to Andrés" Ryan raised an eyebrow. "Being mute isn't a disorder, he shouldn't be in a mental hospital for that" Ryan judged. "Well if you would have let me finish I would have also pointed out that he has a special menu. Meaning he has some kind of eating disorder" she illustrated further. Ryan nodded suddenly feeling a bit bad for criticizing him. 

A sudden burst of nurses flowed into the room. They were smiling and all hustled over to Cameron. Her eyes widened and looked around confused. What are they doing? Ryan thought, what's happening to my friend? Two nurses grabbed either of her elbows and lifted her off the bench and stood her on her feet. "My dear!" One of the nurses exclaimed "we just got a notice from Mrs. Peterson you're doing well enough to finally go home" he smiled as Cameron's eyes lit up, "really?" She asked. 

He nodded "come on, your parents are waiting for you in the pickup area," he said. The nurses left, and Camron turned to Ryan beaming. "I've been here for a month Ryan. Sorry to leave you so soon after our first meeting, but I'm awfully happy" she spoke. Ryan nodded and smiled a bit, "then go" he giggled "bye Cameron," she smiled, "bye Ryan," they waved and Camron was escorted out. Ryan was happy for her, but at the same time, he had a feeling in the pit of his stomach that was the last friend he would make here. Maybe even the last friend he would ever make at all…


	3. Operation Sweet Slumber

Ten days had passed. Days seemed to blend together, each worse than the last. Ryan loved sleeping, it was just getting to sleep he dreaded. His head felt like it was going to explode with thoughts and colors. His eyelids felt heavy, and his mind so desperately wanted to rest. Yet, when he tried to sleep he couldn't stop thinking. He wouldn't be able to describe what he thought. It was like watching a movie sped up. Ryan could see flashes of color darting behind his eyelids, and never-ending mumbling wailed through his skull. His heart sped up and he thrashed around trying desperately to relax. 

This only made him even more overwhelmed. Back, stomach, side, out of covers, in covers, one leg out, two pillows, one pillow, cuddle pillow, no pillows. His mind raced through repetitive motions as his heart rate doubled. He would finally break down and open his eyes panting and covered in sweat droplets. Hours having felt like seconds through his sleepless nights of distressed patterns. In rare nights, he'll be able to relieve tension from his muscles and joints. He'd be able to take deep breaths, silence his mind, and go to sleep. However, those pleasant breaks from struggle were often interrupted by horrifying night terrors. 

Ryan only made matters worse for himself. During the day, he would stress himself out wondering whether or not he would be able to sleep that night. Ryan would panic thinking about another restless night which, of course, made it even more difficult to fall asleep. He would drive himself to tears worrying so much about if he would get to sleep. Luckily, sleep was the only major area of his life his depression was affecting. Well, that and feeling horrendous all day and night. He's seen other patients with depression go through much worse with food issues. He's heard wails through the halls of patients getting their feeding tubes taken in or out. Ryan was constantly tired, constantly anxious, and the meds he was taking felt like no change to him. He was all alone in this new, scary place, and it wasn't going well. 

As soon as Ryan would enter the activity room or cafeteria, he would feel like he was surrounded by a pack of wolves. The boy felt like his problems were so minor compared to everyone else's like they would start yelling at him because he didn't belong there. These emotions dwindled him down to nothing but rotting bones and decomposing flesh. The young man had made a discovery the first day at the asylum. He was going to change out of his day clothes, into his night clothing, when he noticed something across his torso. 

Thin pale lines occupied his sides and stomach. There had to be over three dozen marks just on his stomach alone. Not to mention the scattered few on his upper thighs. Soon, his old habit seemed to strike him across the face. When he felt overwhelmed or particularly empty, he started actively looking for items he could use to cut himself. Ryan found nothing that could be put to that use. He thought about clawing at his skin with fingernails, but the visual made him cringe. Ryan couldn't make himself endure feeling like an animal tearing into a carcass. 

He began thinking about what he could do instead. Drawing? No that just made him mad he couldn't draw straight lines. Singing? They'll think he's crazy and give him more medication. Social interaction? No thank you. Ryan sat in the activity area getting lost in his thoughts. Until one thought stood out. Why don't you just kill yourself? How would I even do that? Ryan argued with himself. He took it into consideration for a moment. I would be able to get away from everything, everyone, get some damn sleep, He thought. Everything would be over and peaceful if he could just figure out how. Ryan thought back to the elevator, it went all the way up to the roof. That's his escape. 

However, he needed a red card to get up there. Ryan once saw a red card hanging off of Dove's keychain. If he could find a way to take it without her noticing, he could get to his sweet slumber in no time. His next appointment with Dove was tomorrow, so he had all day to come up with a scheme. After another restless night, Ryan reluctantly got up and dressed. His plan was simple yet dependable. He would stage a crying fit, give her a hug, and slip the card out from her back pocket. 

There was a knock on the door and Dove entered. "Good morning Ryan, how're we doing today?" Dove said, as she sat in the same chair she did the first day. Ryan made a long dramatic sigh and got ready to spill some tears. "Not very well…" he spoke truthfully, "what's been on your mind?" She replied. Showtime. "I-It's just… my depression has really been getting to me, I don't know anyone here, I don't remember anything, it's a new place… and apparently, my parents are gone…" He threw in another sigh "I can't sleep a-and…" this was it. Ryan started crying and rapidly running his hand through his hair. 

Dove bit her lip and started taking notes. "We can prescribe you stronger medication," she suggested, Ryan sniffled and continued to cry. She sighed, "patients and nurses aren't meant to have physical contact, but I think you need a hug," Dove stood up and hugged him tightly. Ryan hugged back and carefully slid the card out of her back pocket. Dove jumped back after feeling her lower back brushed up against, leaving Ryan exposed with the red card blatantly in his hand. 

"H-Hey! Give that back to me!" She reached for it as Ryan shoved it in his pocket and froze with fear. "Security!" Dove cried out, Ryan ran out of the room adrenaline pumping through his veins. He rushed to the elevator and jammed the button repeatedly, praying no one was in it. Three burly looking men rounded the corner in security outfits. They spotted Ryan and started sprinting towards him. His heart was pumping out of his chest. Every step the security guards took was one step closer to suffering another day. 

The elevator dinged and opened, Ryan immediately dived in. He could see the alarm in the guard's eyes as the doors closed. Ryan swiped the red card and started off towards the roof. He knew he didn't have time to rest. Once he got to the top, security could just get on the next elevator up and game over. There had to be a way to stop the elevator once it got to the roof. He spun in circles checking every inch for someway to stop it. 

Ryan glared at the wall and punched it out of pure pettiness. He regretted that decision as soon as his fist hit the metal. Ryan held his knuckles in pain as bruising already started creeping up his skin. The portion of metal he hit fell to the floor, and the boy jerked back in fear. The peeled away metal revealed a bright red emergency phone. Ryan lit up and ignored his pulsing hand, which seemed to have its own heartbeat, and yanked the phone cord out exposing the multicolored wires. The elevator dinged and the doors parted. The boy panicked and yanked the cords out of their sockets. 

The once illuminated number controls became dark grey and the doors showed no interest in closing. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, allowing his pulse to slow. He stepped out onto the rooftop taking in his surroundings. A forest surrounded the asylum. A small gravel path snaking through the thicket was the only escape. He walked closer to the edge. 

The trees were stunning, like something out of a fancy photograph. Beautiful mixes of oranges, reds, yellows, and greens were sprinkled throughout the forest. A cool autumn breeze gently whisked around his head, sending the fresh scent of crisp leaves through the air. 

He stepped onto the ledge and closed his eyes. Ryan could tell his favorite season was autumn, he didn't know how it just felt right. He smiled a bit letting the wind tousle his hair. He was ready to step off when he heard something. "Ryan?" A voice called out, he opened his eyes and turned around. There, the boy was met with the murky brown eyes of Jay Kingston.


	4. Knight in Shining Amor

"P-Please don't jump…" his voice was small and weak like it was being forced out of him. Ryan stared in disbelief, he actually had a voice, Mr. Bad-Boy had a voice. The taller boy quickly shook it off and focused on his mission at hand. "I'm going to, it's not worth it to live anymore" he spoke with confidence, gradually inching closer to the rim. "There's always a reason to live. Think about your future. Your dreams, your happiness, your loved ones" he spoke, gradually demolishing his sputters. "I forgot all my dreams, I forgot all my loved ones, my parents are dead, and I have no future! I'm completely useless! In twenty years no one will even remember my name so what's the point? There's nothing in this world that's left for me" he said, tracing the edge of the roof with his toe.

"That's the fun part. You can make new dreams, you can find new loved ones, your parents may be dead but there are still people who can care for you, and no one decides your future but you. If you want to have a future then you have the power to make one. The only thing that can stop you is if you jump. Everything always ends up getting better, I'm not going to say it will be over in a week, hell, I'm not even saying it will be over in a decade. Whoever the past you were doesn't matter, all the mistakes you made are gone, wiped clean. It doesn't matter if you were a demon or Saint, you get to decide that for yourself now. But it will end, all bad things end when the good things start. Just please don't jump" he pleaded, taking a hasty step towards the other boy. 

Ryan's throat stung as silent tears streamed down his cheeks and the wind whipped violently around his head. "I don't want to live in pain," Ryan said breathily, his hands starting to shake. "There are other ways. They can give you stronger medication, more frequent therapy appointments, a longer time period of stay. They will do everything in their power to make sure you feel ok" Jay spoke reassuringly. Ryan sighed and looked to the floor of the rooftop, then up to meet Jay's eyes. His gaze was filled with comfort and determination, but a hint of fear came along with it. "...promise?..." Ryan asked softly, "promise" he replied. The boy stepped off the ledge and fell to his knees in hysterical tears. 

Jay gradually walked over to him and placed a comforting hand on his back. He kneeled down next to Ryan and the weeping boy threw his arms around the other. Relief filled, Jay happily returned the embrace. "W-Wait" Ryan asked, letting go and wiping his tears away. "How'd you get up here? I broke the elevator" he asked skeptically, "oh," Jay flashed a sideways smile, "I'll show you" he said. They both stood and Jay led him to a shed. He opened the door and an illuminated staircase met them. "I'm Ryan by the way," he introduced himself, using the back of his sleeve to dry his tears, "Jay," the other replied. The shed was dark and littered with cleaning supplies. The smell reminded Ryan of the girl that would come clean the windows, she would always smile at him before she left, like it wasn't awkward having someone watch you clean. "I thought there weren't any stairs in the building?" He questioned, peeking his head in. "When you grow up exploring this place you'll find some secret passages even the owner doesn't know about," he explained, starting his descend down the stairs. 

Ryan quickly followed after, feeling the shadows of the shed nipping at his heels. He started getting a headache as he felt another presence in the front of his skull. He felt a sudden rush and fell back onto his butt. Dizzy and confused, he tried to stand again, but his shaky legs landed him on the step once more. Jay turned around and stepped up to him worryingly, "Ryan? Are you ok?" He asked. The boy couldn't answer him, he was putting all of his energy into fighting with this...thing. Ryan tensed as he fought the other entity. His body eventually flooded with relief as he felt the presence fade away. However, his rest was short. Ryan saw something unusual flash behind his eyelids and he was able to zone in again. He looked up at Jay, who's hand was now gently squeezing his right shoulder. "A-Are you ok?" The boy asked weakly, Ryan nodded and closed his eyes. He felt like he was watching a private movie behind his eyelids. Except it wasn't a movie, it was a memory. 

His legs were swinging back and forth above the wooden floor of what seemed to be a kitchen. Ryan looked to the left to see two young adults holding a pan containing a crumbly chocolate cake with fluffy white frosting. In delicate handwriting, blue frosting spelled out the words 'Happy 9th Birthday Ryan!' They set the pastry in front of him, encouraging him to blow out the glowing candle. He smiled and blew it out, the man and woman cheering for him. 

He opened his eyes smiling from ear to ear. "I have a memory!" He exclaimed, hopping up from the step and nearly knocking Jay backward. "Sorry" Ryan giggled, "it's ok," Jay said quietly, tucking a particularly long strand of hair behind his ear. Ryan stopped for a moment, "don't you have selective mutism? Why are you talking to me?" He questioned, "it's more complicated than that" Jay countered. Ryan tilted his head but didn't get the chance to question further. Jay beckoned him quickly down the stairs and into his room. "How'd you know where my room is?" He questioned, "do you always ask thousands of questions?" The other replied, Ryan rolled his eyes and leaned the back of his head against the wall. 

"You're going to be in huge trouble" Jay pointed out, "I know, I know" the boy groaned in exhaustion. Jay scrunched his nose, "relax, ur, why don't you tell me about yourself?" He offered, Ryan laughed bitterly, "I have amnesia, I told you earlier," Jay bit the inside of his cheek and giggled nervously, "wow, yeah, uh, that sucks," the other nodded in agreement. "What about you?" Ryan asked, lifting his head and looking at the other boy. "Oh, uh, I'm Jay Kingson, I'm nineteen, my dad runs this place, and I like reading horror novellas. Of course, they won't let me read them here," he nodded slightly as if to comfort himself. Footsteps came quickly down the halls and Jay tensed up. "I need to go, good luck Ryan," he slipped out of his room as he heard the boy's light footsteps rush off, soon replaced by much heavier ones. 

The whole security team, as well as Dove, burst into Ryan's room. The guards glared and cornered him into the side of his room. Dove let out a sigh of relief and rushed over shooing the guards out of her path. "Ryan," she spoke gently, "are you alright?" He nodded, his body so pressed against the corner he was essentially becoming one with the walls. She gestured security to take a step back while Ryan calmed down.

Dove led him threw many breathing exercises and helped him calm down, "Ryan," she said in a sterner tone, "you have to understand what you did was unacceptable behavior, when you feel that way you have to come to talk to me, you know suicide is not the answer. On top of that, you broke the elevator and stole something incredibly important from me, that is simply wrong. I hate having to talk to you like a child, but your safety is the most important thing right now," Dr. Peterson explained. 

He hung his head in shame, first, he tried to kill himself, now it seems like they're taunting him with insults. Next thing he knew, he was being personally escorted to his new level 2 bedroom by the security team. It was the most embarrassing thing that had ever happened to him in his known life. He got all set up and the guards left him in peace. Hearing the outside lock click in place sent a nauseating feeling stirring in the pit of his stomach. Ryan sighed and flopped back onto his bed raising a cloud of dust in the air. He sighed once more and threw his arms above his head. ‘This is my life now,’ Ryan thought, ‘and it's only going to get worse from here.’


End file.
